Are you paying attention? I only ask because if you are—it’s very possible that you may learn something.
When expectations don’t match reality… suffering occurs. It’s that simple.
Do you have a moment to deconstruct that simple statement and make sense of it?
When expectations don’t match your reality…
You set up an expectation for your self, or for someone else. Then you or they don’t meet the expectation. Disappointment, frustration, resentment, along with a side order of feeling not good enough creeps in.
We all do it. Set ourselves up for upset. Oh if only we were… perfect. Our idea of perfection may differ—for some, perfection means having a lot of money, for others perfection means having good health, and for still others perfection is looking or feeling a particular way. When our expectations for what we desire fall short of our reality, feelings of disappointment, frustration, resentment or anger can be triggered. Often, when these negative emotions are triggered we blame or shame ourselves, or others. This vicious cycle of blame and shame wears us, and those we are in relationship with, down. Quickly, we forget our true purpose—which is to be happy and free of suffering and to work towards the alleviation of the suffering of others.
Anger, disappointment and even frustration can actually be the best teachers—with awareness these emotions can be explored and understood. What causes us to feel a certain way? Can emotions be redirected and transformed? Can a shift in perception, approach and attitude unhook us from the drama and send us blasting off in a positive direction?
When we are connected to ourselves, we can connect to everything else. When we are disconnected from ourselves, we’re lost. Connecting with your self or someone else for that matter takes only a moment.
Instead of setting expectations, try setting intentions. Unhook from the drama. Observe the vicious cycle of suffering.
Set Intentions for Clarity. Energy focused. Thoughts directed. Flow with intention. Just for a moment.
Stop. Breathe. Focus. Proceed.
See what happens.
Karin Yapalater MFA, CHHC, AADP
Board Certified Individual & Family Health & Nutrition Counselor
Park Avenue Family Wellness • Hamptons Family Wellness
715 Park Avenue • New York, NY 10021